You will always be a bit Jew-ish…



In the Jewish faith, if your mother is Jewish, than you are too. I have a few friends who are Jewish by blood but in their mind they are not.  These are my friends that I like to call ‘Jew-ish’. While these friends may not go to temple or know a thing about the religion, they will never truly escape the mannerisms of their Jewish faith.

My favorite are apricot!

My favorite are apricot!

I have a girl friend who I like to call ‘the anti-Jew.’ My boyfriend Ryan and I even went so far as to unofficially kick her out of the tribe. She’s such a piss-poor Jew that she doesn’t even know what a *hamantaschen is. While she may tell people that she wishes she weren’t a Jew, she still fits the mold of one. Her parents and grandparents constantly pressure her to find a nice Jewish boy, which will never happen. We also like to joke about our stomach issues, which is something most Jews deal with. Lastly, her entire family consists of doctors and lawyers – the typical Jewish family.

colorcofa3I have another ‘Jew-ish’ friend who refuses to go to temple, but yet when he is sick he has to eat a bowl of matzo ball soup. While he can’t get past 2 dates with a Jewish girl, he went to Israel through the Birthright program. This friend did join a Jewish fraternity in college, however he always chose to fight for equal treatment of his Christian brethren and tried to ‘bring down the Jewish man’ as much as possible.

url3My other good friend doesn’t care so much about marrying a Jew, but he wants to *break the glass at his wedding for the sole purpose of showing up his brother, who missed at his wedding. This friend also spends the Jewish holidays eating classic Jew food with his family, yet I don’t think he has stepped in a temple since his Bar Mitzvah. How does this Jew-ish friend spend his Christmas night? He sticks with the Jewish tradition of Chinese food and a movie. What is one of his favorite drinks? Well that would be Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda – a staple in every Jewish deli. You do the math…

X-mas cookie?

X-mas cookie?

On the other end of the spectrum, I have a good friend who wishes he were a Jew. Back in college, his mom invited some of his Jewsish girl friends over to make Christmas cookies at their house. While myself and the two other girls were making Christmas tress and wreaths, my goyium friend was making menorahs. He also takes full advantage of coming to dinner for Passover, Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur so he can enjoy the delicious briscuit, matzo ball soup and *kugel.

I also have another goyium friend who wrote an entire blog post on why he wants to join the Jewish faith. (*Read Chad’s 2nd blog entry, which you can find linked up to my blog on the right hand side of my page.)

To all of you Jew-ish people out there, you may try to escape the actual religion, but you will forever be a Jew at heart, whether you want to or not. So every time you slip up and say “oy vey” or call a handy man to change your lightbulb, remember your true heritage.

Say it loud, say it proud!

Say it loud, say it proud!

*Hamantaschen: Triangle shaped cookie with a yummy center spread that is eaten during the holiday of Purim. The center can be a fruit filling, like cherry or apricot, chocolate or poppy seed.

*Purim: The Jewish Halloween. The sole purpose of the holiday is to get dressed up in costumes and get drunk.

*Breaking the glass: It is a tradition for the groom to step on a piece of glass at the end of the wedding ceremony. This serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people.

*Kugel: Any one of a wide variety of traditional baked Jewish side dishes (potato) or desserts (noodle) consisting of ground or processed vegetables, fruit or other starches combined with a thickening agent (such as oil, egg or flour). It is sometimes translated as “pudding” or “casserole”.


March 24, 2009. Uncategorized.


  1. Stephanie replied:

    I am Jewish by birth, but Atheist by choice. However, I cannot escape some of those pesky mannerisms! But I hope you don’t consider me an Anti-Jew :\ (btw, you are a great writer!)
    Steph Silk

  2. Stephanie replied:

    BTW, I guess I should have said “Jewish by blood,” not birth. And I DO know what Kugel and Purim are, even though I’ve never eaten or celebrated them!

  3. Debbie (Mom) replied:

    Ilene, I really enjoy reading your blog. You write beautifully and make me laugh every time I ready your new blog. As Ryan said, “Keep them coming”

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